Recently, I came across an expression from a psychologist that proclaimed "the magic word is... 'no.' We need to learn how to refuse." However, something inside me resisted this idea.
Having delved into the theory of "psychological Aikido" at some point, I don't agree with everything, but I did take one valuable lesson from it that applies to life in general.
Picture this: someone is approaching you, carrying an idea, a question, a proposal, or perhaps an emotion. Visualize their movement toward you as a physical action. If the emotion is strong, their approach intensifies. Now, at this moment, you respond with a firm "No." Their human momentum collides with a rigid barrier, much like a speeding car crashing into a wall.
It's a catastrophe! Wounds form on the hearts of those who came to you.
So, what do I propose as an alternative? Protect the soul of the person who is reaching out to you. You can always acknowledge their movement, say "yes," and then suggest alternative ways of interaction. Engage in a dialogue that leads to a suitable solution. During the conversation, you can gently decline the person's initiative while offering another option. But remember, do it without causing harm!
Do no harm! Injuring someone's soul is even more dreadful than injuring their body. It is, in a sense, a violation of the commandment "Do not kill."
For me, the word "no" is not the ultimate solution. It's not a magical word. You don't have to agree with everything in the world. The real question lies in how you disagree. Do you do it harshly, indifferently, or with love?
We must strive to find a balance between knowing how to refuse when necessary and collaborating with others while respecting their feelings and needs. Of course, there will be situations where we cannot or should not comply, and that is perfectly understandable. However, let's practice refusing with understanding and compassion towards those around us. Our words carry power, and we can reduce potential negative consequences by saying "no" gracefully and with love.
So, let's endeavor to embrace the art of disagreeing thoughtfully, preserving the harmony in our relationships, and nurturing the souls of those who seek us out.
Program "Private Opinion" on Radio Vera: https://radiovera.ru/silnoe-slovo-net.html