In my childhood, classmates would boycott me. In my college years, I endured the insults and arrogance of those few girls who dared to be friends with me.

At work, colleagues refused to go on shoots with me.

Maybe I'm exaggerating now. But this is what deeply wounded me.

I don't want to be an outcast! I'm a good person! Why is everyone like this???

In search of a solution, I first turned to psychology books for advice. How to build communication correctly? I read that you should always address people by their names. Come up with compliments to say to them. Thus, win them over.

Further from psychology, I learned: Any criticism should follow the "plus-minus-plus" scheme. First, say something pleasant, then the criticism, and finally, something pleasant again.

But how hard it is to do all this when people treat you badly! Another smart book recommended that I consider: "What if no one treats you badly?"

The next day, I came to work with an inner smile. And people started smiling back at me, as if they saw the sun instead of a cloud! It's that simple! Spread goodness yourself. And people will respond in kind.

Embracing religion, I began reading the teachings of the Fathers. There were clear and obvious answers: do not hurt others, think about what you say, how people might react to those words. Help people, support them, yield. How to do it right. But it's still hard. Constantly thinking about what to do and how.

Quite recently, after a dark period in life, I emerged into the light with a sense of immense gratitude to people for their support, for their warmth... Gratitude? Not only that! For the first time, I felt something overwhelming, flooding my soul with warmth. Perhaps, love?

I suddenly realized that I don't need to think about how to behave with people. I wanted to warm them, embrace them with my soul, make them happy. All these impulses now came not from my head, but from my heart. My kindness became not a learned scheme, but an organic behavior. And it doesn't matter what my friends, acquaintances do. I look at them, and tears fill my eyes. It seems I'm beginning to understand what "love covers all" means!

What is this, Lord? Where does so much warmth in my chest come from? I found the answer: Sometimes God gives an advance — the opportunity to feel some gift. Not by the efforts of the human soul, but by the flow of His grace. Perhaps, only for a while. But this experience remains in the heart and shows the peak to strive for further. Lord, thank You for the gift — to taste the all-encompassing happiness — to love!

Original article: https://radiovera.ru/pro-kommunikaciju-i-ljubov-natalija-langammer.html