Neither Hot nor Cold: The Struggle of Spiritual Indifference

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Svetlana Bakulina

Life is full of cycles, and sometimes those cycles lead us to unexpected places—like a period of spiritual indifference. I recall a time when I would enter the church out of habit rather than devotion, feeling disconnected from the very essence of worship. My visits were routine, dictated by obligation rather than a genuine desire to connect with God. I sat through services, scrolling through messages on my phone, my mind elsewhere while I pretended to be engaged. I was physically present but emotionally absent, avoiding confession and communion altogether.

Reflecting on my early days of faith, I remember rushing to church not out of obligation but from a heart brimming with gratitude. I cherished every moment spent in prayer and worship, acutely aware of my need for spiritual transformation. However, at this later stage, a sense of apathy had taken root within me. Despite no apparent reason for my despondency, I felt a pervasive emptiness. Deep down, I recognized that something was off, but I struggled to articulate it.

In search of clarity, I approached my priest and shared my feelings. He explained that what I was experiencing was known as “lukewarmness,” a state of spiritual lethargy and indifference toward God’s commandments and church life. He emphasized that one can attend church, partake in sacraments, and still feel emotionally detached from the experience. He advised me to read the third chapter of the Book of Revelation, which would shed light on this spiritual malaise.

That evening, I opened my Bible and found the passage that struck a chord within me: “You are neither hot nor cold; I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. So be earnest and repent.” These words resonated deeply, illuminating my path forward. I realized that only an intense longing for God could pull me from the grips of indifference. The subsequent call to “repent” revealed the root of my problem: a backlog of unconfessed sins had created a barrier between me and the divine.

This realization was transformative. I understood that spiritual life is a constant struggle; stagnation is not an option. It requires continuous movement, an active engagement in overcoming one’s weaknesses. When I found myself spiritually cold, I needed to rush back to the source of warmth—God Himself.

Lukewarmness is a challenge many face, often unacknowledged until it becomes glaringly apparent. It serves as a wake-up call, a reminder that faith is not a static state but a dynamic relationship that requires nurturing and effort. In the face of indifference, we must seek out opportunities for renewal, whether through confession, prayer, or acts of service.

By confronting our spiritual coldness with earnestness and repentance, we can rekindle our relationship with God. It is an ongoing journey, one that calls for resilience and courage, but it ultimately leads us back to the warmth of divine love and grace. Let us not settle for the comfort of indifference but strive for the fervor of faith, embracing the transformative power of spiritual engagement.

 

Original article: radiovera.ru/ne-gorjach-i-ne-holoden-svetlana-bakulina

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