Recently, I overheard a conversation between two mothers at my child's school. The topic, timeless and universal: the perceived shortcomings of modern teenagers. "I believe our kids are excessively spoiled," declared the first mother authoritatively. "Take my son, for instance. He does nothing around the house, spends the entire evening on his bed listening to music. We were different at their age; we took care of ourselves and even helped our mothers with household chores. Moreover, we respected our teachers, feared to speak against them." The second mother chimed in, "Exactly! Modern teenagers have no respect for adults. They are self-assured, thinking they know and can do everything, yet lack real knowledge."

This got me thinking: why is it so challenging to find that elusive golden mean in parenting—between strictness and love, between discipline and permissiveness? Every parent desires only the best for their child, aiming not to lose contact with them throughout their lives. I, too, wish for my sons to trust me, to feel comfortable sharing their troubles and sorrows, knowing I will always support and help them.

However, it seems impossible to be on an equal footing with them. There's a need to maintain some level of authority; after all, I am their mother, not just a friend. How can one navigate this delicate balance? Why is it that when I attempt to be strict, I transform into a perpetually dissatisfied mom, endlessly yelling, scolding, and demanding?

Dealing with a child going through the challenging transition into adolescence is particularly daunting. During this time, managing one's behavior and emotions becomes incredibly difficult for the teenager, as well as for the parents.

In our constant rush to accomplish various tasks, we often find ourselves short of time for meaningful communication with our children. We may even be relieved when they are occupied with their lives and friends. Yet, these prickly and seemingly troublesome teenagers genuinely need interaction with their parents. A simple, heart-to-heart conversation: one on one, without criticism or educational goals. We often forget that these are still our children, albeit going through a tough phase that needs enduring and weathering together. Unfortunately, we end up in constant battles, as if there were some meaning in these skirmishes.

There's no need to strive for complete, rigid control over every aspect of a teenager's life; it won't lead to anything positive. Parents find it challenging to accept that their child is growing up, changing, and developing a private life that is beyond their reach. It's essential to understand that despite appearing and feeling grown-up, the adolescent is not yet an adult.

Moreover, during this time, teenagers are incredibly sensitive; they are like one big bruise waiting to happen. It's effortless to hurt or offend them, even with the most innocent remark or joke. Therefore, it's crucial for them to feel safe at home, to know they are awaited and loved, regardless of who they've become or what they've done. Demonstrating interest, respect, and joy in their presence is crucial. Have you ever wondered why the most popular social network among teenagers is called "Vkontakte" (In Contact)? Perhaps because that's the most crucial thing for kids of this age: to feel the connection, to know they are expected and supported. This contact needs to be maintained by parents with their complex yet remarkable growing children.

Original article: https://radiovera.ru/lyubov-i-distsiplina